Spending Time With Those Who Matter

My grandson Malachi

When my grandson was born almost 5 years ago, I promised myself that I would be actively involved in his life because I would never get the time back. For the last few years we’ve had him before and after school for 4 days a week. Sometimes I am not going to lie, there’s a beauty in that and there is I am tired! I am not 20 anymore and he has enough energy for several kids.

It’s summer now and this next year we won’t have him several days a week. Now I need to build into my schedule what had previously existed without thought. Last night I missed him and I like putting him to bed. It’s been our thing. I went to his house and we played but we finished the night watching dinosaurs, snuggling, and reading a book. He hands down is my favorite.

My first ride back on the street

Marty walking with Legend and I

This was a fun day and an eye opening day. If you don’t know, I came off of another horse about 4 ½ months ago and had a brain bleed, concussion, 4 broken ribs, punctured lung, and a lacerated spleen. I have been in a rest and rehab season since and had a few week long hospital stays. Horses are my passion and I have wanted to ride again probably since the day after I came off. It’s taken some time, (I couldn’t get off the couch so there was that) but I’ve been back in the saddle for about 6 weeks. There’s things I’ve learned.

Trauma is a thing. This week I rode outside the arena on my property and then on our street. Something I have done with this horse for years. When I do it now, I am nervous. Not panic attack nervous, but the something could happen nervous. My brain is very aware that something could happen at any time. I have to build trust with myself again and with my horse. (This horse hasn’t ever hurt me. It was a young horse but my brain still notes its a horse).

My body and his body are healing. He was laid off for a year over injury and so I can’t push either of us. We have to go at our speed or we will both end up re injuring what we’ve been healing. At this time in my life, slow and steady is winning the race. It’s hard when you were made for adventure.

I’ve learned to be thankful. Every day. Everything I can do. Everything he can do. When you almost lose everything, thankful in the little becomes a life lived in gratitude. I never want to lose that.

I’m thankful for my husband because one of the new rules for myself is I don’t ride alone. My first ride out he walked with me because I didn’t have anyone that night to ride with. Hopefully this week I will get to do a lot more of this. I love this horse. Ah, his name is Legend. I’ve had him since he was 2, (he is now 14). I named him Legend because the things that we would be able to do together would be legendary. So far he’s lived up to his name.