It’s Time To Celebrate The Little Things
I’ve said it before and I will say it again, this season for me has been learning all new skills and trying to not lament past seasons. When you are healing and having to change in order to do it, lamenting becomes a common theme. I was preaching the other day, and went back through Moses and the Israelites story. Do you know how many days after the miracle of the Red Sea that the Israelites started complaining? Three days. Three days later they are LAMENTING the good ole days of living in Egypt where they had food, water, and life was good. If you follow their story, this complaint continues with them for over 40 years.
About 5 months ago I came off of my horse at a high speed. You can read the blog Healing and Recovery to read more of the details of how this impacted me. I am in the healing phase but I will tell you, healing like life is not linear. We want it to be. Linear is predictable. Life requires Jesus. Jesus takes an unpredictable life and makes all things work for us. Our part is just to believe.
In this healing process I will have several days where I feel like I am almost my old self. I can be active, my pain in less, work longer hours, etc. I get really excited on those days. It feels like finally this whole process is going to be behind me. The hardest part of this process for me is having limitations. I am also learning a lot about myself emotionally. The Lord highlighted to me how much I do for people to keep them from being upset with me, or in my mind upset with me. I’m learning I hate it when someone is angry, even if my actions weren’t responsible for their anger. I can’t let them work it out. I have to do something to keep them from being upset.
In order to rest well, I have to let other people own their own behavior. If I did something wrong, obviously, I need to correct that. Most often though, it is me overcompensating to make sure the people around me are ok with me. He asked me to stop overcompensating. I am listening to Him, but my insides are very far from rest.
This saga moved into my weekend and by Saturday I wanted to cry. I was emotionally and physically tired. Here’s the thing, God didn’t change what He was asking of me. My job was still have faith and find rest. I wish I could say that Sunday was better, but nope. Actually, every day this week is a place I am having to find faith and peace. Don’t worry, there’s a but God part in here.
In all of this, I have wins. I played the piano and led worship Sunday morning. That was a big win. My brain would have not been capable of that these last few months. My kids spent the weekend and when we had the whole family over, I absolutely loved it. I found out that a lot of times, what I interpret as someone being upset with me is wrong. I’ve been working hard to please people who were already pleased. My perspective has been wrong. I could go on and on about the wins I am having. If I compare today to the day after I came off my horse, I have come so far in the healing process.
What I am trying to highlight today is don’t get in the mentality of the Israelites. They didn’t build faith in their God. They glossed over the ugly in their past where God came through and they complained about what He wasn’t doing for them right now. It can be a hard thing to do because we have feelings. Often we can allow our feelings to dictate our perspective on our circumstances. You can feel the feelings. There’s nothing wrong with that. In those times though, we need to do what David did. David was always honest with how he felt, but always ended every song with how great God is. The secret to your healing process is surrendering your current process and reminding yourself of the great things He is doing or has done. Don’t forget in your story to have a but God……keep the faith. My love language to God is faith.